Ticked by the nortorious Tick

Every single time I go into the huge double storey Nike flagship store at Bourke Street, it never ceases to get me into fits. The feeling of immense dizziness, the sense of being overwhelmed, and of course, the urge to run to a nearby bathroom to hurl at my heart's content. Every visit with a Nike fan friend brings about the aforementioned illness. Hell, I would rather squeeze myself in between the teeny weeny gaps of General Pants' clothes rack, get my ears boomed by the loud music than step into Nike. It is that bad.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the spacious decor nor the lighting of the Nike store. In fact, it allows the pleasure of leisure browsing, with products easily within reach, and lots of room to stretch your legs out. It's an unmissable sign of good merchandising and store planning. They usually have interesting windows, a visual feast that never fails to grab your attention. The wonders of a multimillion corperation indeed. So you wonder what my issue is?

The fact that I was never a sports buff aside, the swoosh symbol is bordering beyond nortorious. It is that simple. Such a small logo, but so recognisable, powerful AND also oh so ubiquitous. All of a sudden, I understood why the cool hunter from William Gibson's Pattern Recognition suffers from major 'label attacks', which also explains the urge for me to pull out my unpicker and rip the logo from the surface of every garment in store. The Nike store is like descending into a brainwash chamber, where they try to ingrain to you the gloriousness of the label. There is no escape. I am greeted by those ticks everywhere I turn. Panic panic panic ensues.

Times like these I wonder if I killed my chance working in Nike if the opportunity rises. Studying fashion has marred my perception of the industry, and needless to say, Nike being one of the more controversial labels of our time. Somewhere along the line, I've contracted major label withdrawal symptoms. Perhaps I'll think twice of being a household name someday.

In the words of Alanis, isn't it ironic, don't you think?